Aunt bee, it's too soon.
We'll let your father decide.
Aunt bee, let's talk this thing over.
No, we won't.
We'll talk with your father.
What are you all arguing about?
He needs a haircut
and he's trying to talk his way out of it.
I don't need a haircut, paw. Honestly, I don't.
How can you tell?
I can still see.
Oh, you mean when your hair grows down over your eyes...
That's when I can tell
I need a haircut.
Well, that's a pretty good way.
And there's one other way, too.
What way is that?
When your aunt bee tells you.
Thank you, Andy.
And you come home
right after the barber shop, hear?
Paw, I don't want a haircut.
Those little hairs get down inside my shirt
and they itch.
Take a bath and wash 'em off.
A bath!
I have to take a bath, too?
That's right.
This is turnin' out worse than I thought.
Oh, it ain't so bad.
Come on, let's go over to Floyd's.
A haircut and a bath in one day.
Paw. Hmm?
What am I being punished for?
Don't rush it, Floyd, don't rush it.
Uh, well, I'm so busy I...
They're just comin' in
and, uh, everything.
What do you mean "rush"?
I don't want the fast treatment.
This is just a haircut
it isn't a brain operation.
My head feels like one
when you're through.
Don't you...
Oh, Gordon, just two ahead of you.
Sit down.
Hello, uh, ed, ed.
No, no, don't come over now.
Just make it later in the day, ed.
Yes, all right.
All right, Barney, you're done.
Next!
Boy, oh, boy.
Just once I'd like to have them sideburns come out even.
Hmm?
What are you talking about?
Wait a minute.
Now, look at that.
One inch from the lobe.
What's the matter with you?
One of them sideburns is short.
Well, maybe that's because
one of your lobes is longer than the other.
Hi, Floyd.
Howdy, boys.
Well, I didn't know you's this busy.
It's just a madhouse, Andy.
Well, I can come back some other time.
Whoa!
Come back here.
You got time to take the boy?
Well, sure, sure, if you don't mind waiting.
Really workin' you, huh?
Oh, listen, if I keep this up
I'm liable to end up with a barber's claw
from holding the shears all day.
Here, Floyd, go buy yourself
a book on sideburns, will you?
I'll pick you up later.
Oh, all right, Opie.
Come on, over there.
Sit down, boy.
That's good.
Now, next!
Oh.
Andy.
Hmm?
Look at this.
Look at what?
Can't you see?
They ain't even.
I'll be dogged, you're right.
Doggone, I knew it.
I told him!
One ear is longer than the other.
You're almost as funny as Floyd, you know that?
Why don't you two team up... Call yourselves frick and frack?
Almost done, Mr. Floyd?
Almost.
You don't like getting a haircut, do you?
Sure don't.
You just wait till the warm weather starts...
I'll give you a good scalping.
It'll last a long time.
Howdy.
Be right with you.
I don't want a haircut.
I'd just like to talk to you.
Hi, Sonny. Hi.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I'd like
to introduce myself.
My name is medwin, bill medwin.
Howdy do, Mr. Medwin?
I'm Floyd Lawson.
Oh, this is Opie Taylor.
Well, Opie, that's a nice name.
Mr. Lawson, I just got into town
and I happen to be a barber myself
and I was wondering if you'd be interested
in puttin' on another man.
Puttin' on a man... you mean...
Right here, I sup...
Yeah.
Well, I don't...
Well, I've never had anything like...
Because what do you do...
It isn't that I wouldn't want to.
Floyd, is Opie ready?
Hi, Andy.
Mr. Medwin, this is sheriff Taylor.
Hi, sheriff.
Mr. Medwin, how are you?
Mr. Medwin's new in town.
He wants to come work for me.
That right?
Yeah, I was tellin' him
as you come in, I said...
Well, I never... Had anything like this.
You know, just... but... The business...
I've been so busy all day and everything.
Isn't that what I said?
Roughly.
You see, um, I've been workin'
for many years now in the big city
and, well, now I'm kinda, like, semi-retired.
And I've been thinkin' for a long time
that what I'd like to do is settle down
in a nice, warm, friendly little town
where the pace is easy
and there's no pressure.
And I thought I'd let a few
of my old customers know where I am.
I'm sure they wouldn't mind
drivin' a few miles to patronize me.
Somethin' to think about, Floyd.
The way they been workin' you
you could use another man.
I wouldn't even want any salary.
I'd just work on commissions
and furnish my own customers.
Well, now, you couldn't be fairer than that.
I'd even bring in
my own equipment
and you'd have a two-chair shop.
I'm sure the town could use it.
Look out, now, a two-chair shop.
Now, there's something you've always wanted, Floyd.
Yeah, a two-chair...
Yeah.
You could put a sign in the winda
sayin', "two chairs, no waitin'."
Yeah, uh, gee... Two-chair.
And I got the magazines to swing it.
Mr. Medwin... He'll be bringin' in
his own customers.
That's right, I...
You really got nothin' to lose.
Sounds like
a good deal, Floyd.
A two-chair... yeah... All right.
: All right.
I'll do it!
Good, good, good, good.
I'll just go check into the hotel
and then I'll call the barber supply
and have 'em bring another chair in here
and then I'll get busy on the phone
and start callin' my own customers.
Fine.
Oh, you won't regret this, Mr. Lawson.
Nice to meet you, sheriff.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Medwin.
Nice to see you.
Gee.
Well.
Floyd, you're finally expanding.
Yeah... g... At last.
Floyd Lawson, proprietor
of a two-chair barbershop.
My, I have to sit...
Oh! Oh! Sorry.
How about that?
You want to get that little pike's peak back there?
Excuse me.
Welcome to Floyd's barbershop.
Is bill in? Inside.
Thanks.
Well, Floyd, how's the new barber?
Fine, fine, fine.
First mornin' and already,
two of his customers came in
and a third one's on the way.
Is that right?
Yep.
And they ain't all just haircuts.
Shampoos, too.
Shampoos?
What's he charge for that?
80 cents.
80 cents?
Just to wash your head?
Hate to have him give me a bath.
Well, his customers can afford it.
Uh, if you think that's something
he does something that they call a facial.
It's supposed to improve your face.
$1.50.
$1.50?
Mm-hmm.
Everything all right?
Fine.
Thank you.
Call again.
That's the facial.
I'd hate to see what he looked like
when he went in.
Hear that?
He's playing my song.
Smart-looking clientele, huh?
I think he's a doctor.
Yeah.
I'm glad you talked me into this, Andy.
Wait a minute, Barn.
What's the matter?
Them fellas goin' in the barbershop.
What about 'em?
Ain't they the same three fellas
we saw goin' in there yesterday
about this time?
Yeah, now that you mention it
they do look familiar.
Yeah.
Don't that seem strange to you...
A customer goin' back to the barbershop
the very next day?
No. No?
No, didn't you ever hear
of a person with a "compelsion" complex?
A what?
A "compelsion" complex...
Like when folks gotta warsh their hands all day...
That's a hand-warshin' "compelsion."
What you're lookin' at there...
That's a case of hair-cuttin' "compelsion."
All three of 'em?
All three of 'em got the "compelsion."
Listen, you find
"compelsion" nuts all over.
Okay, let's have it.
The betting slips
and the complete take
from every bookie in my district.
Good, how 'bout you boys?
We got 100% collection, too.
Ladybug at hialeah did real good.
Bill, how long you gonna hide out?
Why not bring the operation
back to the city?
You kiddin'?
As long as the heat's on
we're gonna stay.
What's the hurry?
You can't place horse bets back home.
Might's well stay holed up right here.
Sure, what could be sweeter... A dopey barber for a front man
the only law in town is a country-boy sheriff
who's the barber's pal?
Pretty hard to match a parlay like that.
Hey, watch it.
You got any food for an empty lawman?
Be ready in just a minute.
Good. Burn yourself?
Unh-unh.
Oh, it looks good.
I walked past Floyd's barber shop today.
It certainly is a busy place.
Yeah, that new barber's pretty good.
He ought to be pretty popular
with the men in town.
Well, not just with the men.
How's that?
Sarah tells me
he's pretty popular with the ladies.
Sarah over at the switchboard?
Uh-huh, you know, she doesn't talk much about people.
She just happened to overhear
some of his phone calls.
Do you know he's got girlfriends
all the way from here to morehead city?
Is it right for Sarah to listen to his calls?
No, of course not.
And before she said one word
I told her straight out she shouldn't do it.
Gossiping is very rude.
Good for you, aunt bee.
And I'm not one to carry tales about people, either.
Well, don't you want to hear what she said?
I thought you said you wasn't gossiping with her.
Well, I wasn't gossiping. She was gossiping.
I was just listening.
Oh, oh, you were just listening, oh.
Well, I couldn't walk away.
That would be rude.
Oh, I see, it would be ruder
to be rude than to be gossiping.
Well, Sarah knows that anything she tells me
doesn't go one bit further.
Good for you again, aunt bee.
Well, don't you want to hear what she said?
Don't I want to hear the thing that wouldn't go any further?
Uh, no, I don't think so.
I'm fixin' to eat.
Go ahead and tell me before you bust.
Well, I don't know what kind of girls they are
but from their names
they sound like chorus girls or such.
Tiger lil, brown-eyed Mary, Lindy Lou...
They are kind of strange names for a fact.
And they stay up late, too.
Something Sarah said about tiger lil
not coming home until ten to one.
And brown-eyed Mary not till eight to five.
Odd time.
And that's not the worst.
Lindy Lou didn't show at all.
She was supposed to go to his place and she didn't even show.
She didn't show, huh?
Place and show...
I better have a little talk with Sarah.
Well, I didn't know
you liked gossip.
Maybe just this once.
Hey, Sarah, sheriff Taylor.
Listen, Sarah, maybe you can tell me something.
What is it, Andy?
I got your call at the diner
and I came over as fast as I could make it.
Well, it ain't all that urgent
but we do have a kind of a nasty situation here.
We do? Nasty, in mayberry?
See if I got my bullet.
Well, it seems that Floyd's barber shop's
being used as a front for gambling.
Gambling?
That's right.
Bookmaking, horse racing bets and everything.
I can't believe that.
In Floyd's barber shop?
That's right.
Hey, do you think it's...
That's right... his new partner.
Shampoo king, huh?
Explains everything, too.
Phone calls, the out-of-town customers,
them same three fellas keep coming in.
They probably work for him
picking up the bets and the winnings.
We can't just stand here.
Let's go get him.
We'll rope off the block, get some tear gas...
No, Barney, that won't work.
They'll just hide the evidence and play innocent.
Oh... oh.
Well, what do you suggest?
Well, we got to catch them at it red-handed,
get the evidence on them, you know.
Catch them with them little black bags.
Well, how're we gonna do that?
Don't rightly know.
We could use a plant.
You know, send somebody in to place a bet.
The minute they take it, why, we'd grab them.
Yeah...
How about me?
Well, they never seen me before.
A deputy sheriff?
Well, not in these clothes, for heaven's sakes.
Oh, no, Barney.
It's got to be somebody they wouldn't suspect at all.
You know, somebody they wouldn't in any way be afraid of.
Yeah, yeah, a typical citizen.
Hey, what about Emma Watson?
Emma Watson?
Sure, I'm all the time reading
about these little old ladies that bet on races.
They'd never suspect sweet old Emma Watson.
Barney, you can't ask Emma Watson
to do a thing like that.
Well, why not?
Because you can't ask a private citizen to be a police spy.
Something might go wrong, might get hurt.
Well, what are we gonna do...
Just sit around and watch our town
become the gambling center of the country?
Come to mayberry, folks, gateway to monte Carlo.
Barney...
Why, once the word gets out
they'll be swarmin' in here
with their horn honkin' and their jaywalkin'...
Now, Barney, we'll get them fellas.
We just got to figure out the best way.
Now, I got to go to Stuart Simmons's
and I'll be back after a while
and then we'll figure out something.
Well, I still think Emma Watson's a good idea.
We send her into the barber shop...
No, Barney, no.
Now, just, just calm down
and when I get back, we'll think of something.
It is, too, Joey.
It is not... you're crazy.
I'll betcha that's Barney.
Barney?
It is Barney. See, Joey?
Whatcha doin', Barney... Trick or treat?
You sure do look funny, Barney.
He looks like Mrs. Cox in the second grade, don't he?
Beat it, will you?
I'm playing a trick on somebody and I want to surprise them.
Now, go on, get out of here.
Go on!
He sure does look goofy.
Did you see that hat?
Say, bill, where's the dope who runs this place?
He went home for lunch,
but let's work fast, come on.
Watch it, here comes somebody.
: Hello, boys.
Floyd isn't here, is he?
Uh, no.
Good, because you're the gentleman I really want to see.
Me?
Mm
Because I want to place a bet on a horse.
What makes you think you can do that here?
Oh, it gets around, but don't worry.
You boys are absolutely safe with me.
Now, what I want to do
is to put this right on the horsey's nose.
Now, we have to do this fast
because if my daughter-in-law should find out
she'd just have a fit.
I have this daughter-in-law, she's just a beast.
A beast is what she is.
She won't let me gamble, she won't let me do anything.
You know that I have to sneak down to the gas station
to take a pinch of snuff?
Is that, uh, so?
Uh, yeah... Yeah, yes.
A beast is what she is.
She's just a beast.
I think it's because she married late in life
and then she had this skin condition, you know
that lasted well into her 30s.
It's made her bitter.
But I say, live and let live is what I say.
I mean, what's the harm
in placing a little bet?
That's what I always say.
Now, uh, here's my two dollars.
Now, uh, give me one of them little slips.
Oh, is that where you keep the names of the horses and things?
Stop it! Stop it!
He ain't here, Joey.
Where do you think he went?
I don't know.
Oh, hi, whatcha doin', boys?
Lookin' for Barney.
What do you want with Barney?
We want to tease him.
He sure looks funny.
What's he look like?
Like an old lady.
Like Mrs. Cox in the second grade.
What'd you say?
Barney's dressed like a little old lady.
Said he was gonna fool somebody.
Hey, maybe you better wait in there.
I'll find Barney.
Let go of me!
Whoa, whoa, lady...
All right, turn him loose.
Boy, talk about catchin' them red-handed.
You really did a fine job, Barn.
Well...
: Don't tell my daughter-in-law.
I sure am glad we got medwin and his boys
extradited to where they was wanted.
Yeah, good riddance, I'd say.
Getting rid of him in a hurry,
at least Floyd never had to know the awful truth
that he was teamed up with a bookmaker.
Yes, let's hope he never has to find out.
Hi, Floyd, how's everything?
Oh, there you are.
Oh, boy, have I got news for you!
What sort of news?
Medwin, he was working here for me,
well, he's gone! He's out.
He hasn't called in. He hasn't checked in.
He hasn't done anything. Is that right?
You know those phone calls of his?
I just realized something...
They weren't just ordinary phone calls. They weren't?
No, of course!
Oh, I must have been blind.
How could I believe that there were
customers making reservations?
How could I be so stupid?
Well, Floyd, as a matter of fact...
No, of course they weren't anything of the sort!
Oh, I admit that he had me fooled.
But now I know what he was up to.
Well...
Those phone calls
were from girlfriends.
Yes.
I've just had a message that apple dumpling
is coming in at 10 to one.
Of course, she doesn't know that he won't be here,
so I'm going to take her out myself.